I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
