you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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