Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
