So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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