To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
