is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
