All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
