Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
