I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
