Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The ass gains better be worth it
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