I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
