so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
