Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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