It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
