can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
