420 ftw
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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