Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
