I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize