oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
