I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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