Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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