so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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