That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize