i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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