i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
