you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
