Already got asked if we're dating
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize