That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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