on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize