Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
