im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize