Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
