He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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