Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
