I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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