when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize