lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
