so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
