Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
