And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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