Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
