I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
North Korea, Best Korea!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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