eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
