May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
