You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Dignity is for republicans.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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