video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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