just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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