Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize