i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
