my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
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