well I can't set my house on fire every night
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
