my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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