I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
