Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
i out mim tonsoeep
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize