we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
