His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
MIDGETS
????
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
