I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
