Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Found your dick twin last night
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
