She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
