just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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