You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize