she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
