It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
